Did she whisper “our secret”
as hands began to roam?
Did she murmur “don’t worry”
as text lit up your phone?
Did she mouth into darkness
“don’t think of her at all”?
While frozen at our table,
I waited for your call.
Image source: AnaDoraArt via Etsy
writeamuck 
Whoa. Love the spin on the idiom. Well done!
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Great title. And the rhyming didn’t make me cringe.
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The last line seals it perfectly.
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Genna: this is sexy and desperate and all in all wonderful. I loved it.
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This was so nicely done. Your title is perfect and it’s not easy to pull off rhyming like that.
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Stacie complimented your rhyming in a much more tactful way than I did.
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Hahaha. I liked your compliment style. :)
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Real with the right amount of edge in the voice. I also liked that it rhymed because the cadence was perfect. Really well done.
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Amazing, Genna! I love this. The rhymes are so SMART and I can see – and feel – it all.
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Loved this, Genna.
It has tension and rhythm and makes all wiggly inside (that’s a good thing!)
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I liked the rhyming! The tension here is soooo good. Made me just the slightest bit uncomfortable and I love that in a piece!
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An elegant rhyme for an oh-so-unelegant situation. Loved it, Genna!
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I like the title and the rhymes–so well done :)
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“Whoa” is right! You painted that so perfectly. Agreeing with everyone else that the tension, rhythm, and rhymes were spot on.
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The rhythm of this is perfect and the image of frozen at “our” table. Fantastic.
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I also love the title. And the flow is perfect!
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Great rhythm and rhymes, and so much story in those few short lines. And I also love the title.
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We went in similar directions this week. I really like yours, the way it contrasts the narrator with the other woman.
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Love the accusations and that you ended it inside the married couple’s home at the kitchen table. As if she’s sitting and waiting for the “you” to get home to have a serious talk.
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